Tuesday, April 26, 2011

I did it.

I broke up with my trainer tonight. I have to say that I feel kind of relieved, but kinda not. lol. We had such a GREAT deal on the price...that's really hard to let go. However, I just can't do night times anymore. It's too much after being  up all day with the kids and it will be worse in the summer when my 2 older ones are home ALL day, EVERY day again. Know what I mean? I'm not going to fight with them at 6pm to get them to start getting ready to leave so I can be there by 7pm.....

One of the girls in the group got a little bit snippy with me and I have to be honest, I'm a bit peeved about it. I don't want to quit working out with my trainer. BUT I am putting my needs before theirs...so I guess I get a point for that, huh? lol.

My plan is to get a treadmill this weekend so I have one at home, especially for the nights that I am restless. I'm also going to take this time to start being accountable for what I am putting in my mouth on a daily basis. It's hard to keep track of it sometimes, isn't it? I mean, 1 MnM turns into 15 before you know it. lol.

So...I'm going to go weigh in at WW tomorrow and then I'm going to get my hair did. I'm a bit nervous about getting on their scale, but I have to do it at some point. Here goes nothing, right?

We have the Race for the Cure in June and I'd LOOOOVE to be able to run the 5k then....I may start the Couch2K program and hopefully be able to achieve that goal of running in the Race. Maybe not.... We'll see. I also bought myself a special pink insulated cup for $13 (YIKES, I KNOW) at Target tonight. It's a 20 oz cup so if I refill it 8 times a day, that's a gallon of water/liquid daily. I need to work on that. ;) Ok, Ok, I really just like the pink cup, too. It doesn't sweat either, supposedly. AND it's dishwasher safe!!! All good things. I hope it's worth the $13. haha!

Wish me luck with my Weigh In tomorrow....

Friday, April 22, 2011

Beef Stroganoff

My kids LOOOOVE Beef Stroganoff. I got tired of buying the Hamburger Helper stuff so I've made my recipe up. I'm sorry I don't have "Before" pics, but trust me, I make this enough I will add some later.

1-2 bags of Egg Noodles
1-2 cans of CONDENSED Cream of Mushroom Soup-thebig cans, not the little ones
2 lbs of ground turkey (or beef, whateva you like)
1 pkg of Au Jus seasoning
1 can of milk(use a half if you are only using 1 bag of noodles and 1 can of soup)

Brown the beef/turkey. Drain. Meanwhile, boil the noodles. When those are done, I take the Soup and pour it over the top of the noodles so the warm noodles kind of "melt" the soup. I then take 1 can of milk (if you are using 2 bags or 2 cans of soup) and mix that in with the 2 cans of soup. Add the Au Jus seasoning and stir. Then add the meat.

Viola!~ Magnifico! You are done! I like easy, low ingredient recipes. I DO season the meat while it's cooking though... pepper, a little Gourmet Burger seasoning via Weber's seasonings. The quicker the recipes, the easier it is. I'm THRILLED my kids like this.

Good Friday

Well! Today is Good Friday and we are experiencing major storms once again. We had hail the other night. CRAZY stuff. Tornadoes touched down etc etc.

Today we are in for the same thing. It is PITCH BLACK outside.
FUN! But at least today I got to get a free Starbucks Iced Coffee. It's Earth Day and they are giving out free coffee, iced coffee, iced tea, or brewed tea in one of their mugs (you buy) or one of your reusable mugs.

Don't mind the messy desk. :) I'm buzzing here from this STRONG coffee so after I'm done here, I will be buzzing around the house cleaning since that's what this weather is allowing for. :p

I've been busy with Dr appts and such this week so I haven't been able to do half of what I wanted to. I'm hoping to get my baby girl's dresser painted white today. It's in the garage and ready to go. This weather is HORRIBLE. I'd love to stay in bed and watch TV and junk all day, but that's not happening.

The kids are off of school and I'm guessing by 1pm all hell is gonna break loose. Being cooped up inside is NO fun for anyone, unless you are childless and have a SO that you can spend all day in bed with. haha!

I'm sure I will be back later.

Monday, April 18, 2011


Today I am really struggling with whether or not I want to take a break from working out with my trainer and my 2 friends. This blog wasn't all going to be about weight loss and it still isn't, but for the last few days, it's REALLY been on my mind. Do you ever feel like something in you is changing or that you are growing (not wider! or taller!)? I feel like I'm trying to claw my way out of something, but I also feel like there's something that's within my reach and I need to grab it or get to it. I think this is why I'm talking about "quitting my trainer."

I've been with my trainer for a year now. I think he's awesome. He's been there,(as in been fat) so he gets it. I am A LOT stronger (physically) than I used to be and I owe that to him. However, he can NOT help me with my food issues. I am an emotional eater. Usually it's from one extreme to the other. Like today, it's 1:40pm and I haven't eaten yet today. Not. good. I drank a 2 pt coffee from Starbucks, but nothing else. Can you say, starving my body???? Maybe messing my metabolism up a bit???

Anyway, I CAN work out and I CAN lift weights and I'm good at it. He thinks so. I think so. The only thing is, the food thing isn't "connecting" with the rest of it. Like with my head. I mean, I KNOW I should be eating 3 meals a day and 2 snacks, but I don't always do that.

I almost feel like it's time for me to move on. I think I want to take the time now to work on my eating issues while working out and doing cardio on my own. I know that they are going to be upset and try to talk me into staying, but they can't help me with the food. I'm not feeling "balanced" right now. kwim? I think it's time for me to work on my eating habits, etc.

I'm sure like a lot of overweight people, you watch shows like Ruby, The Biggest Loser and Addicted to Food. O M J (josh, instead of gosh). Lots of things going on there. The root of all of it is not dealing with emotions. I thought I DID deal with emotions and issues. I mean, I've had YEARS of therapy and have dealt with many raw and gut wrenching emotions. Pain, guilt, happiness, sadness, lust, anger, abandonment, rejection, abuse, you name it. Maybe it's just the feelings from the past? So why is it in the here and now that I am using food to deal? habit? Probably. Part of it anyway.

That's not something that my trainer can fix. Obviously, a year of working out and inches lost, strength gained, but not really pounds. I think it's time to do something different. Now that I KNOW what I can do or at least some of what I am capable of, I think it's time for me to take a break and work on the food aspect of my journey. I don't know how I am going to tell them all tomorrow night... it's hard. It's a routine that I am used to and now it's like I am going to be a duck out there learning to swim on my own.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Buh Bye Muffin Top

Eta: I got to thinking after I linked this to this Linky Party that people might click on this and think this was a Before and After. I assure you, it's not! lol. It's a BEFORE.  In one year I will post the AFTER. lol.

I've decided that I HAVE to get back into doing WW. So I think today and tomorrow I am going to get back into the swing of things with tracking, drinking water, etc and then on Friday go weigh in. If I blog it, I must do it. Right?

Troy mentioned last night that I should try out for Biggest Loser. I said, I could do that, but that would mean that I would be gone for a long time. He seemed to rethink that and said, well, maybe you can just go running around here while we are in school all day. He was so sweet about it, it brought tears to my eyes.  I know he said that one of the kids at school told him I was fat. Hunter got really upset about that (that a kid would say that about me). But the kid was right. Is right.  It makes me wonder how my being upset about my looks affects them. Here I preach to them about how being different or fat or tall or short is NOT what matters, but yet, I am giving off the message that it actually does.

There are some days where it's REALLY bad. Like when you are supposed to be going somewhere and you want to look nice, but everything you try on doesn't look right or fit right. Then you start throwing clothes around your closet, your room, your bathroom. What? You don't do that? PUH LEASE. The frustration hits an all time high and you think, I don't want to go to this stupid event anyway. Then you consider staying home so you don't have to feel or look as uncomfortable as you are.... so you go, feeling like a fat slob, and smile the whole time when the truth is, on the inside, you are counting the minutes down so you can leave or praying that no one notices how your stomach is hanging over your jeans or that you look 5 months pregnant and you aren't....
Not mine (mine is MUCH bigger)...but you get the idea.
The truth, for me is that:
  • it is HARD to lose weight when you have 4 kids, a husband, and a house to take care of.
  • It's hard for me to take care of me when I have 5 other people to take care of. 
  • It's easier to grab a granola bar or rice krispie treat or something CONVENIENT. 
  • Same with the frozen meals. 
  • I can make excuses because I have 5 people to back me up. ;)
  • I'm just not consistent.
 However, it's great that I get out of the house twice a week to go workout with my trainer. I am VERY grateful to my husband for that. Although, there are/were months where I am not or have not been consistent with him either.

So that's where I am at the moment and I hope to be in a better place soon. I'm setting short term goals because looking at the big picture can be overwhelming. It's the same way with dealing with the housework...


Tuesday, April 12, 2011

"Mantras" or "Live bys"

A few weeks ago I made this:
I have it in my main floor bathroom (which I painted in Glidden's Soft Suede). I'm really into the Damask print right now so I'm using it A LOT. lol. These are some of my "Mantras" for 2011. It was really simple and not really "professional" looking, but I wanted some decor up in my naked bathroom. It is NA-KED. Bare. Boring. It has nothing but 2 coats of paint on it right now. :( It's very sad looking.

Sometimes we need reminders to "Breathe" or "have more patience" or "drink more water" (that I REALLY have a problem with).

If you click on the picture, you can probably see them better. 

here's another shot:

Monday, April 11, 2011

Move over Monday

Troy was SO affectionate that day. I love this pic.

Today is one of those days where it'd be really nice just to stay. in. bed. We had thunder and lightening a lot of the night last night and it's not bright and sunny out now. Blech.

However, I am going to make the most of this Monday and take it for a new start to a new week and a new plan.

                           Philippians 4:13 (New King James Version)

13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. 

That's my motto for the week. I am getting back on my weight loss bandwagon and not looking back. I wanted to do a weight loss blog on a weight loss page, but I wasn't picked. Ouch. Rejection. Who likes that? Oh well, when one door closes, another one opens, right? Or at least maybe a window! :) I'm not going to dwell on it or waste too much sleep over it. It was something I kinda did on a whim anyway and didn't put too much into it when I "applied".

I finally got ALL of the laundry folded last night and now need to go put it away. That's the WORST part of doing laundry. lol. I also have to paint my daughter's dresser that I sanded and stripped. 

AHHH! The sun came out! Yes! Off to plan meals for the week (so I don't sabotage myself) and then to paint the dresser and put the clothes away.

Saturday Strep

This weekend was a mess. Hunter had a soccer game (despite the MASSIVE amount of mud puddles on the soccer field...) on Saturday morning. My mom, dad, sister, and nephew came. Halfway through Hunter complained to the coach of not being able to see. When I walked over to get him off the field, he really looked like he was going to pass out. I made him sit down and put his head between his knees.

I then made him drink a LOT of gatorade and water for the next few hours. Around 5ish I took his temp and it was 102.4. YIKES. I called the Dr's exchange and the on call Dr said take him to the Urgent Care. Sure enough...he has Strep. AGAIN. This is the 2nd time in less than a month. I see a tonsillectomy coming in his future....I feel absolutely HORRIBLE for making him play soccer. I had NO idea he was feeling THAT bad. I NEVER would have made him play had I known.

But he has antibiotics in him and he was doing much better yesterday. However, this morning he thought he was going to get out of going to school. Nope. After 24 hrs on the meds they say you aren't contagious so....let's hope none of the other 3 kiddos get it either!

Friday, April 8, 2011

Fantastic Friday

Yesterday I took my soon2be 5yo to the Allergist. He starts K in the Fall and I wanted to check out his food allergies, etc, because I was concerned about how to handle it with school, etc. Well....

                               HE IS FOOD ALLERGY FREE!!!!!  

He was allergic to milk, wheat, strawberries, and oats. Oats made him break out in what looked like burn marks. That really is the only way I can describe them. Wheat did, too, at times. The rest of the stuff gave him massive diarrhea. That's actually what started us on the journey. I took him to a Gastro who said, "Oh that's normal". I didn't feel he was right and told him so and he got flippant and rude with me. I had this GUT feeling. (pardon the pun) This was my 3rd child and I just knew something wasn't right, even at 2 years old.

I took him to another Gastro and she said she agreed, something wasn't right. They tested him for Celiac Disease, which thank God he didn't have. We knew he was allergic to oats because coming into contact would bother his skin. So we decided to take him to an Allergist and have him tested. It's not a very comfortable thing for a 2 year old... the Dr asked what he ate on a daily basis, etc. So we tested him for quite a few things. Turns out he was allergic to strawberries and milk, which we had NO idea. How do you not give a child milk? Milk is in so much, even in cake batter!

That started our journey. We went back to the Gastro (the female) and saw the Nutritionist in that office and basically put him on a Gluten Free and Case-in Free diet. We were OVERWHELMED to say the least. Wheat is in so many things. Who would have thought it was in some gravies or ketchup???? It was hard (and EXPENSIVE) at first. We switched to Soy milk, but turns out he still had a reaction to that, which the Drs said is VERY common. So then we did Coconut milk (which he LOVED) and dairy free ice creams, etc. After about 8 months, we started introducing milk and wheat back into his diet little by little.

He tolerated them well so we were pleased. We just kept the strawberries and oats away.

Anyway...yesterday we had him tested again and are proud to say he's FREE of Food Allergies. It is such an INCREDIBLE relief. Even the older boys were thrilled and hugged him. They were VERY conscious of making sure he had no oats (in cookies or anything else) and no strawberries in juices, etc. It's amazing how much food allergies affect a family. It's not just the kid who has them, but the other people in the family, too are affected.

So that's our news and we feel FANTASTIC about it.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011


This is one side of the front of the house. Don't mind Santa who is still on my porch....

This weather has been so Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde type! At least today it will be 70 degrees and sunny!!

I've got so much stuff to do. I need to get the rest of my potting soil and top soil and fill in the landscaping in the front. I'm hoping to dig up some of the bushes and put in flowers or other things. I REALLY want spiral bushes.

There's a few people in my neighborhood that have THESE and they are BEAUTIFUL. I am NOT a good landscaper... I know what I like, but I don't know what goes where etc  etc. My instinct is just to pick out the pretty multi-colored flowers/tulips, etc that I like and throw the seeds into the soil and pack them down and wait for them to grow. lol. Then I'd get disappointed when they wouldn't grow in the shaded half of my flowerbed. lol.
See below:
This was taken in late afternoon, I think

No sun on that part...
See, sun on this part of it...

Does anyone else HATE how you put pics on blogger? I HATE how they have this set up. It drives me nuts! I want to be able to place pics WHEREVER, as in side by side, if I want. Rather than right, left or center. :( Guh. It drives. me. nuts. somedays.

Oh yeah, back to my landscaping issues... I love daisies, lillies, tulips and all different colored flowers. I think I am going to take those bushes out on that 3rd picture. I may plant spiral trees there or 1 spiral tree/bush there. On the other ones...I'd love to plant flowers there. Like these:
Claudia Tulips!

Yes! They actually have MY name. lol. I think they are GORGEOUS. In fact, I bought some on clearance last year at Home Depot (aka HD) at the end of the season. I'm itching to plant them. Unfortunately, there's a tree in our yard and the other day I went over to look at the ground to see if that would be a perfect spot, (cuz I think it would) and when I moved a rock, millions of ants were crawling around...blech. So DH sprayed all around to hopefully kill some of the ants. I didn't want them eating the bulbs....

I'm open for any suggestions on what to plant etc. I know my landscaping won't look "uniformed" as obviously one side is complete rock and I'm not digging all of that up right now! lol.