Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Today I learned...

a valuable lesson. I learned that when friendships are strained and you unfriend someone on facebook (damn you fb!) that that can set of a war of nasty exchanges. I did it quietly. I was then asked why I did it. I was honest. I said it was because the friendship had changed and I didn't feel that there was much there at the moment. I was tired of seeing things posted that seem to be passive aggressive.

I was then a victim of retaliation. Yes, I know. How ridiculous at our ages!? We try to teach our girls and kids that bullying is not ok, etc. With things like FB and Twitter and Yelp, the opportunities are endless for someone to be aggressive, passive aggressive or just plain mean. I found out that VERY soon after a message exchange, a picture was put up on this person's page about drama. A few girls (from that Mom's group I talked about before) immediately responded. One comment included calling a "female" "crazy". One said that they wish they could just start tagging people. It went on from there. I am sure you get the picture. Pardon the pun! :)

It was hurtful. I felt like I was back in the 5th grade, but I'm not. I am 35. How ridiculous is that? My daughter overheard me talking about this to my husband and said, "Let's punch her." I said, "Why would we do that? That isn't nice" She said, "Well, she is a mean girl. We should punch her." This shocked me! I don't talk like that. But, I also realized that maybe as humans, it is an instinct to want to get even? I don't know.

I asked this person why she would do this and to please stop. She denied it was referring to me. I don't believe her. I just chose not to argue with her about it because it would get me nowhere. In talking to my other half, he pointed out to me that I shouldn't want to be friends with someone who would allow other women to talk about me in that manner. If X was really my friend, even if she was mad, she should have stood up and said, "hey, not on my page" or "that isn't about her". But she didn't. Instead, she took on this Mean Girl mentality and they all chimed in like a pack of wild animals, chomping at the bit to badmouth someone. Me. I so wanted to scream, HEY GIRLS! X has said SO many things about you over the last year, even in the last month or so! She doesn't want to be "friends" with you, she wrote that, too! Would you like to read it???

However, I'm not going to. I want to. One day she will realize that they aren't her friends. That they are there when it works for them, not for good and bad. (Same as it was before)

In the meantime, I will move on. I will grieve, but I will move on. I have to set an example for my kids.