Saying Goodbye

My MIL's twin passed away early Saturday morning. She had colon cancer and it was all through her body, bones, and lymph nodes. It happened so fast once we found out that she had the cancer. My heart breaks for my MIL even though at times she is NOT my favorite person. She had a messed up family life from a young age on. I feel like her twin was her only ally in that family. *sigh* My MIL has been diagnosed with emphysema (from smoking) and she hasn't quit. She is supposed to be using oxygen daily, but she doesn't. This pains me for the simple fact that if she did use it, she would have SOOO much more energy, etc.

The funeral is tomorrow and it's about 130 miles from us. :( So a 2 hr drive in 100 degree weather and 4 kids is on the agenda in about 5 hours. YIKES.

I hate saying goodbye. I am also worried about how this is going to affect my kids. They are identical twins and I am worried that it may flip one of the kiddos out. But death is a part of life so I am not going to hide it. Of course, I won't force the kids into going into the room with the casket, but...

I'm just sad. Sad for my husband, sad for my MIL.